found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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