She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize