Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize