July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize