ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
