just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
