It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
