This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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