I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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