He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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