is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
