Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
