i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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