i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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