Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize