I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
