brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
