There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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