It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
