I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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