I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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