If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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