he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
