my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
