sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You pole danced in your parka.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
