On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
