it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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