actually, I'm a sock model
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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