Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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