like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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