Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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