..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
