Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so explain again why im purple
no
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
