I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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