let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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