if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
