Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
