is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
