Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize