I heard we made out
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
