: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
