Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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