Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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