she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
