if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
