im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
