I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
