You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
