im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
