i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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