final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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