His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
