Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize