I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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