she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think my fart just growled at me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
