whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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