I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
