so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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