i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
