wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
