i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
