talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
