yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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