wakey wakey hands off snakey
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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