new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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