I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
