It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
